Things have been just a little busy around my home, with my working, home life, life with my husband and kids, and a few extra projects I have to do for work...I'm a bit overwhelmed. I can't seem to keep up with the blog and feel bad for those who do read on a regular basis.
I'm working a OT shift tonight. My DH and I are in a sort of tangle. I obtained a copy of my credit report yesterday. I found out that my DH hasn't made a car payment on his vehicle for three months. In the past year, he'a made four of them on time and eight were late.
My name is on the vehicle loan as a co signer. I really had no idea because I thought he was over his "foolish years" and money mistakes, since we have been through so much. Well, apparently he's now over it. I found out and called the loan folks.
I had 1221 saved in my checking account that I was going to transfer over to my savings when I got paid on Thursday. I ended up making a 839.92 dollar payment to get his vehicle caught up. We had an agrument yesterday which resulted in my breaking down in tears. I didn't touch the cash in my savings account to cover this. As a result, I have 350 left in my checking. I will transfer that to my savings tomorrow morning after I get out of work in the AM.
We spent yesterday not talking. I was so upset and angry. I took my son to the park so he could play. My DH came with me and we sat there in silence. I ended up walking our two hound dogs, so they could get some exercise. I made dinner and went to bed at 9:30.
Work projects:
I joined the RN practice council at work. We have a project that needs to be assigned. I took some pro activeness and signed myself up for one of our core measures. My responsibilities are to develop a questionnaire, make some education to put out for folks at work, and help our facility meet the core measures. My part is venous thrombosis embolism prevention. It's basically a clot in one of the vein/arteries and how to prevent that in patients while they are in our care. I need to have something to present on August 14th.
Another one was applying for a PRISM award. It's a award given to med surg nurses and their unit for outstanding care and leadership. My part in the application is nurse retention and recruitment. I need to have a rough draft for our meeting on August 14th.
The work projects are not paid assignments. They are to show leadership and growth on our resume and we get points towards our annual evaluations.
My husband can't handle any of the finances. He used to have his own checking account and credit card through a different bank and he would have me transfer money from his checking account to pay the credit card. He almost never paid the full amount even if he only had $15 or $20 left on it. It used to drive me crazy. Why pay interest because of such a little amount.
ReplyDeleteThe worst was when I found out that he wasn't keeping a minimum balance in his checking account. He had been paying $12 per month in fees for not maintaining the minimum balance. $144 a year in fees! And he never noticed he was being charged this for years!
He no longer has his own accounts and I just give him cash for spending money. We each have separate savings accounts, but I'm in charge of both. If he wants money out of his, he'll just ask me to transfer some from his savings so he can take it out at the atm.
We have separate checking and savings accounts. I was putting money into his checking to cover what few expenses he has. He can't be placed on a joint account with me due to his spending. This was a bit of a shocker the other day.
DeleteI also take care of finances in our family, but luckily, my husband has little to no interest in doing so. He has no problems with "allowing" this to continue. He is the guy who puts $30 in his wallet and thinks he is ready for a shopping trip. The truth is that we agree pretty much of the time on what to spend on, although for many years it wasn't a problem because we spent only on the bills and there wasn't much left over to argue about!.. I have learned that he will always overspend on buying cars, so I purposely tell him we can afford "less" than we really can. It seems to be working out fine---we have done all the big things by this point---paid off the mortgage, saved for retirement, put kids through school, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt is necessary to come up with a solution, of course, because budgets need to be as predictable as possible. Do you have a "short term emergency fund?" I try to keep some extra money is my savings account, where I can get at it quickly when necessary. Maybe you and your husband could discuss this--I assume you will eventually talk to him again. I know it's distressing to be at odds, but I'm pretty sure you will work it out. Good luck.
I do have a savings account with a few thousand dollars in it. I don't have online access to it or a debit card. I do have a checking account also that I try and save extra in there for some emergencies. I paid and got his car caught up with the money I had extra in my checking.
DeleteWe started talking this morning when I got out of work. I told him that I wasn't mad or angry, but I was upset that he lied to me. He said that he was "sorry, and will work hard to pay me the money back". He is a good guy and cares, but financially doesn't have a clue.
This was very unfortunate about the car loan. Does your husband receive some kind of separate income such as disability or a small retirement? From this does he make the car payment, or do you give him money to do this? Since you are a co-signer, I believe that you should take over all these payments, since he has proven himself untrustworthy in this regard. This is not fair to you or your children.
ReplyDeleteHubby and I have separate checking accounts and small savings accts. We also have a larger savings and investment acct. in which we make deposits from our savings. We each know ALL the passwords to all these accounts and have them on file. This creates accountability and financial transparency in our marriage, a must. Also, I would recommend a weekly budget talk with your husband to apprise him of the finances and the bills you are paying.
I think it would be best if he were on a cash allowance budget from this point. Where did the $800+ go that was supposed to pay the car loan? That also needs to be discussed and addressed. I wish you luck with all of this. You are working very hard to support your family and his lack of support and financial good judgment should not be allowed to harm you or your family. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I feel very sorry for women who are forced into these predicaments.
I put money into his account and he sells stuff on the internet to make some spending money to supplement. He doesn't work since he has a mental illness and I work full time night shift as a intensive care nurse. We have been together for 25 years. We started speaking this morning. He is to pay me back the money I paid for the car, and I am taking over the payments. I am making the payments and he is giving me the cash. We have separate checking and savings since he's financially clueless. We have had separate accounts for many years. He is aware of every bill that comes into the house and knows what it's taken for me to work and get things taken care of. We have a mortgage and my student loan for school that I am in the process of paying off. The 800 dollars was spent over a matter of months when I looked over his online banking statements. It doesn't sound harsh. He has made a mistake and knows about how I feel.
DeletePart of it was my mistake for not keeping up with something I cosigned for a few years ago.