On Wednesday I took the rest of the cut up chicken in teryaki sauce and baked it in the oven. It was a thigh, drumstick, and some boneless meat. I had two very small pork chops to cook with the chicken. I marinated it with the same sauce. I steamed some long grain brown rice and corn to serve with dinner.
I worked Thursday night. We had take and bake Aldi pizzas and salad. I got paid on Thursday and got all December's bills sent out. My mom is having financial difficulties. She's 1500 dollar behind on her utilities (water, sewer, electric) and needs heating oil to be delivered. She's behind on her mortgage and car taxes. I told her that I would work some overtime and help pay the utilities. I sent a telephone payment to the electric company on Thursday. Heating oil for her home is about 300 dollars for 100 gallons. She has a large tank, I don't know the size. I feel for her. At first, I was going to offer to make the mortgage payments. I was looking at my finances and I am not able to make them. I told her that I would work on the utilities. This did not go over will with my husband, but he said, "I will support you in what you decide".
I'm working all weekend. Friday my husband made elbow pasta with garlic marinara.
Tonight he put a frozen lasagna in the oven (he bought it).
I went to the grocery store on Thursday. We made three stops to the Dollar Tree, Sharp Shopper, and Aldi. I spent a total of 200 dollars.
Dollar Tree 21.70, Aldi 157, and Sharp Shopper 57 dollars. I have a total of 300 dollars for the month of November. There's three teenagers and two adults, two cats, and two dogs.
I've been working ALOT! I haven't been able to blog the past few days.
My husband baked a ham we bought on Thursday. He made mashed potatoes and a beautiful salad.
My DD took all the meat off the ham bone and put it in the fridge. I put the ham bone in the crock pot with 3 cups of soaked bulk pinto and great northern beans. I peeled and diced four sad carrots, added some onion powder, some parsley, a bit of chicken stock, and water. It will simmer all day and we will have a beautiful ham and bean soup for dinner.
I'm off work until Friday!!
That's really nice what you are doing for your mom. Sorry to here you have to work even more though.
ReplyDeleteI did it before to help her. She means well but has poor financial skills. My DH wasn't happy, but he said, "It's your money and I won't want to argue. I will support you". I just got off a four day stretch (12 hour shifts) two weeks in a row. I'm a bit tired.
DeleteIt's nice to be able to help parents out but you need to get to the bottom of why she can't meet her bills. Maybe time for a parent/child talk on money and finances? Do you have other siblings who can help her?
ReplyDeleteSluggy,
DeleteI know why she can't meet her bills. She lives in a high cost of living state (Rhode Island). Her husband works as a train engineer (he has been out of work for a few weeks due to a medical problem) and she works as a bus aide part time to special needs kids. She has a 10th grade education. Her mortgage has a very high interest rate. She has TERRIBLE credit. The income that comes into the home is more than I would make in a month. She gets a retirement check of 950 a month, and her pay check from her part time job is 177 a week. Her husband makes 110 a week after taxes.
They have poor money management skills. They both need to take a class on basic addition and subtraction. It's a matter of more money going out (in excess, no budgeting, poor choices, expensive taste in groceries and such) to the "fun" stuff and not enough going towards the monthly finances. Her husband was supposed to fill out paperowrk from his job and get the paperwork signed by the MD and faxed back in, but he hasn't started it. It's been weeks now. My mom went to the food bank a while ago and felt "weird" about being there. She didn't like the food they gave her and she feels that she can maintain her style of living despite the hardships they are having.
I've talked to her many times regarding her financial situation. She responds that "I am doing the best I can. I love my home, I don't wantt o sell it and move to a less expensive place".
What she doesn't understand is that her financial credit a shot, she has a terrible history with managing money, and she is hurting herself inthe process.
She didn't ask me to help. She called and we were talking. She was crying about the bills and I have a heart of gold. She's my Mom and I didn't want her utilities to be turned off. I can't afford to pay her mortgage. I did get a list of what she owes in utilities and paid part of the electric bill.
Her husband makes 1100 a week. Not 110.
DeleteI have three sisters. One of them helped her last year finish paying off her car payment to the tune of 1300 dollars. The other two are not able to help her. I did pay for a few oil payments last year.
Seems like just throwing money at the problem isn't really helping in the end and it's draining their kids.
DeleteHave they saved anything for retirement?
They are pulling in over $6K a month and are 1500$ behind on utilities, mortgage and taxes. This is just going to get worse and they will be a burden on y'all. I sure hope having a big talk at the Holidays will help. It's usually tricky dealing with aging parents once the roles reverse. Perhaps if they won't let you manage their finances, there is a trusted family friend who can get through to them?
Maybe you can talk them into going to see a financial counselor who charges by the hour and isn't in it to sell you financial products. Arrange it before you visit for the Holidays and offer to go with them. Something needs to be done before they lose the house and end up on your doorstep. 8-(
Good luck with whatever you decide to do on this.
My mom is recieving her retirement now from a position she held for 24 years. Her husband is still working full time and has a full retirement with the railroad.
DeleteIs there any way you can enlist your Mom's doctor to convince her to name you as power of attorney? You could write the checks for the bills each month and give the rest of the money to them to spend on groceries, etc. At least you could keep the bills paid up for them. Or the local office for the aging might be able to take over paying for the necessities for them, at no cost to you. They manage people's money all the time when they are not able to do it for themselves. That might be easier since you're out of state.
ReplyDeleteMy mom is 58 years old. I don't believe she will let me be her power of attorney yet.I am 42 years old. She had me at a very young age. We are going up there in December (driving) to visit for Christmas. I'm going to sit down with her and write up a budget. I'm going to show her that she can pay the bills, get groceries, and have a good lifestyle with the income they have coming in.
DeleteI am paying her utilities (the past due amounts) now and going to get her a full tank of heating oil in December.
I will get more information about the center for aging. Thank you.
I always read your blog but don't usually comment. Its just hard to see you work so hard and help out those that have money but don't spend it wisely. I get it but still hard for us to watch.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard. It's very frustrating for me. My bills are paid, I have savings, I work a full time position to support five people. I don't ask folks to support my family or pay my monthly obligations. I'm caught in a tight place and don't really know how to make things better. I believe she will lose her home, destroy what financial future she has, and she has low motivation to change the situation.
DeleteMost Centers on Aging only work with people 60 and up. She and her husband need to sit down with someone and take control. Maybe you can point out where they are headed if they don't stop foolish spending and pricey habits. Ask her what she will do if something happens to your job or your ability to pay for her mistakes. I think it helps for people to see that their savior may not be capable forever. THEN, that person might listen to logic. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI plan on having a long conversation with her in December. I'm hoping that she can see the reality and harshness of what's happening. She's human and she's a grown adult who has made poor choices in life. It's ultimately up to her and her husband to decide what to do with their future finances. I'm only going to be able to help for a certain time. Eventually, I am going to refuse to help and pull extra shifts to make sure that they are meeting ends. It's frustrating when I call and ask what's happening, or how they are, and hear that either one of them is too tired to find a part time job on the weekends.
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